Category: Personal

I thought about leaving this post until tomorrow being Valentines day and all; but actually I’m not talking about the romantic type of poetry. The poetry I like is the type that paints a picture in your head that draws you to imagine.

Today someone pointed out a web site with lots of the type of poetry I really like. This type of poetry takes you out of yourself and shows you the bigger world and even beyond.

I suppose it must be fairly self evident as a blogger who mainly writes that I like words. I actually see words as a means to an end, I don’t love words because they are words, I love words because they have the potential to communicate something that takes me to somewhere else. I’m not talking about escaping, I’m talking about travelling and in travelling experiencing something new that broadens who I am.

The other thing that poems can do is to express something that we struggle to express ourselves. Last night one of the young guys in my Cell Group got baptised. In our church people who are getting baptised say a few words before-hand. It’s a daunting task to stand up in-front of a few hundred people and talk about yourself. So what does a young guy do – he reads a poem; it was great.

Anyway, here’s one that I really liked:

Performance for an Audience of One by Gerard Kelly

If you had been the only one:
Yours the only ticket sold;
Your solitary bottom
Spoilt for choice
In an ocean of empty seats.
If you had been
The only one:
He still would have staged
The whole show.

The brooding, hovering chords
Of the overture
Unfolding
For your ears only:
Stars spinning out like Catherine wheels
Across a dark but lightening set,
Until dawn was uncorked
On green home.

Act 1: the building of a nation:
A people wooed and won
And lost
And won again.
For you alone the whole cast
Weaving and turning through dances
To fill a joyous expanse of stage.

Act 2: the cry of a child
In a vastly empty universe;
The adventure of hope and betrayal;
The seat-gripping climate:
Triumph diving, death defying,
Through the fiery hoop of tragedy.
The clamour of the crowd scenes
Building
Toward an unimagined finale –
A cosmos, purged of guilt
Restored,
Dressed for dancing.

If you had been the only one,
Your grimy pounds
The total take:
He still would have staged
The whole show
And wept for joy
At the warmth
of your applause.

While I popped out at lunch today I was listening to Jeremy Vine on Radio 2, today’s discussion: the closure of the London Planetarium to make way for more celebrity waxworks. Two things struck me about this conversation. The first was the obvious one – that’s sad. The second one surprised me – wow, I’m glad I’m not a celebrity. I can’t see any benefit whatsoever to being a celebrity and yet I live in a country where hoards and hoards of people are desperate for just that. The comments from most of the people went something like this: “who wants to see dumb celebrities anyway”, “why are we dumbing down again”. Celebrity is one of those words which has completely reversed it’s meaning. It’s a bit like the word ‘cool’, which means ‘cold’ – generally not a good feeling – but is mainly used to describe something that is good. Celebrity comes from ‘celebrated’ but mostly means ‘dumb’ and ‘shallow’.

I am massively grateful that I am appreciated, that people care for me and actually want me around, that I am loved. Some people seem to think that the way you get this appreciation is through being famous, being a celebrity, but it’s a mirage. Celebrity has nothing to do with love.

If you are a celebrity you can only be one dimensional and that dimension is governed by the area for which you are celebrated. Love is significantly different it allows you to be the multi-dimensional individual that you are.

Celebrity spends all its time trying to prove how stupid you are – just ask Britney Spears: “The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” Love seeks to build you up to show you how interesting you are.

Celebrity is gone in a whisper. Love, well that goes on and on.

Celebrity is completely impersonal. Love is relationship.

The evil might become world famous, strutting at the head of the celebrity parade, but still end up in a pile of dung. Acquaintances look at them with disgust and say, “What’s that?’ They fly off like a dream that can’t be remembered, like a shadowy illusion that vanishes in the light. Though once notorious public figures, now they’re nobodies, unnoticed, whether they come or go.

Job 20

Become a celebrity? No, thanks, I’ll stick with being me – thanks.

Over the last few months I have found myself repeatedly in situations where the people I have been with have been insecure; insecure about their marriage; insecure about their health; insecure about their faith; insecure about their position; insecure about their standing. The thing about this insecurity was that it was evident and visible. These people all reacted in particular ways which demonstrated their insecurity. The thing is, for most of the people, in most of the situations there was no reason for them to be insecure at all.

Insecurity is a massive issue in our society. Being a member of that society I am obviously not immune and regularly find myself in situations where I am nervous and edgy. There is no logical reason for these nerves, they demonstrate an insecurity that is deep seated and defies logic.

I am blessed to have a number of islands of security, places where I feel secure, situations where I can be myself. I know that for many people their islands get smaller as they get older; I’m thankful that my current experience is that the islands are getting bigger and I feel secure in more places and more situations than I think I ever have.

One of the reasons that my islands are getting bigger is because I feel like I am becoming less bothered about what others think of me. I used to worry about the opinions of others a lot, even people of no consequence. I try to see things differently these days; I tend to think that people’s opinions of me are their issue and not mine. It doesn’t always work, but I feel like I’m getting their.

There are many reason to feel insecure. Nothing in life is certain, after all. But we can’t live our lives dwelling on the uncertainties. We need to find and expand our islands of security because it is only in these islands that we are truly ourselves. We tend to do strange things when we are insecure. People only see the real us when they see us on our islands of security.

I don’t have any silver-bullet for expanding an island, or even finding a new one, but the investment required is definitely worth it. To expand my islands I return to a story that Jesus told and the promise it included. It’s a well known story and includes a wonderful principle:

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse, because it is built on rock. But anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will fall with a mighty crash.”

Matthew 7

I know lots of people who have a favourite season. It is sometimes Summer because of the long warm days; sometimes it’s Autumn because of the colours; sometimes it’s Winter because of cold crisp days; for others it’s Spring because of the way it burst into life. My favourite season always seems to be the one that we are about to enter into. Perhaps I don’t actually have a favourite season and the thing that I love is the change of the seasons.

Most of us have different ways of identifying the seasons too, for me it’s normally the garden. Over the last few weeks my small patch of land has been telling me that it’s ready for Spring. Seems a bit of a strange thing to say considering we haven’t even exited January yet but that’s what it’s saying. The picture of the Snow-drops was taken today, there are some even further on but I couldn’t get a decent shot of them. They aren’t the only thing growing either, everything seems to be popping through the ground or shooting leaves.

It’s clearly time for a transition and transition brings transformation. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to halt it, it’s coming. When we were kids we used to play hide-and-seek (actually we still do, but that’s a story for another day) and the person who was ‘on’ used to count and when they had finished they would shout – COMING, READY OR NOT. I feel a bit like the garden is currently gently whispering – coming, ready or not – but soon it will be shouting – COMING, READY or NOT.

The garden is telling me how small and powerless I really am. I can type words on this computer and people around the world can see them, but that’s nothing compared to the changing of the seasons. It happens every year and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I know my place.

It reminds me of the story of King Canute who tried to stop the sea from coming in. It depends on which version of the story you read as to whether it was Canute trying to teach his people a lesson or whether he was just completely arrogant. Either way the lesson is clear – it doesn’t matter how powerful we are we can’t stand against the seas.

There once was a king in Babylon called Nebuchadnezzar he was a mighty ruler – powerful and rich. One day he had a dream and it troubled him. Nebuchadnezzar called for Daniel to try and interpret the dream, after some time God revealed the meaning to him. The result of the dream was that after his death the great king’s kingdom would be replaced by something much smaller and inferior. Everything that Nebuchadnezzar had worked for would be torn down and there was nothing he could do about it.

Daniel gave praise where praise was due:

“Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he alone has all wisdom and power.

He determines the course of world events; he removes kings and sets others on the throne. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars. 

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he himself is surrounded by light.

I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors, for you have given me wisdom and strength. You have told me what we asked of you and revealed to us what the king demanded.”

We might not be able to stop the seasons, move the seas or change history, but the dream that Daniel interpreted had a promise in it too, a promise that was fulfilled when Jesus died on the cross and continues to be fulfilled today:

“During the reigns of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed; no one will ever conquer it. It will shatter all these kingdoms into nothingness, but it will stand forever. That is the meaning of the rock cut from the mountain by supernatural means, crushing to dust the statue of iron, bronze, clay, silver, and gold.”

Daniel 2

Ponder: To reflect or consider with thoroughness and care.

I love to sit and ponder. I suppose I’m doing it now as I consider what I’m going to write, but this isn’t true pondering because there is a sense in which true pondering is done with a purpose but doesn’t actually produce anything for a long while. I know some authors ponder over words for days on end, but I’m not that precise. But I do ponder some things, I do consider them over and over again. Many of these pondering haven’t produced anything, and perhaps there isn’t anything to produce other than a sense of pondering in me.

Some translations of the Bible use the word ponder quite a lot particularly in the Psalms:

Praise the LORD! I will thank the LORD with all my heart as I meet with his godly people.

How amazing are the deeds of the LORD! All who delight in him should ponder them.

Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails.

Psalm 111

Another translation uses a slightly different phrase and I love that too:

GOD’s works are so great, worth a lifetime of study–endless enjoyment!

Psalm 111

This Psalm talks about one of the things that I must ponder the most – God’s works. God’s works in my life, God’s works in those around me. God’s works in the broader world and in creation.

Some of the things I ponder go like this, and this is where I reveal my technical side I’m afraid:

If God is outside time and can do anything at any time with no limit to the number of times that He can do something He doesn’t need to be all powerful as well?

How does God constrain His power?

Does Heaven in an way follow the same line of time as the earth? If it doesn’t is Jesus on the earth and in heaven at the same time or is that an irrelevant question?

The point about pondering is that there is endless enjoyment in a lifetime of study. It’s not about quick answers, there may not even be an answer. Pondering is about the joy of laying with the study of something, using that study to broaden the mind to stretch the imagination, to reach beyond ourselves into something or some other place.

Having something to ponder is a wonderful companion when alone on a walk in some beautiful countryside. I could take some music or a radio or any number of electronic companions, but they are nothing compared to a question that requires some pondering.

Much of our current world is about quick answers to quick questions. We have all the information we could ever possibly want available to us. The other day I read a really interesting article on how we are answer rich but question poor and how this was impacting our ability to be creative. We have to learn to delight in the pondering, without it we are just information and not fully human. Some people ponder things for a lifetime and never find an answer, but that’s not the point of the pondering.

I was prompted to write this post after reading Maggi’s post on it earlier today.

Every day I drink water, every day it’s crystal clear and tastes great. I don’t have to think about it, I just go to the utility turn on the tap on the water filter and out it comes. I don’t really even need the water filter it just tastes a bit better that way.

I don’t have to walk for my water.

I don’t have to boil my water.

I don’t have to put a purifying tablet in it.

I don’t have to worry about disease.

I don’t have to worry whether the well will be empty.

What a luxury.

We can so often look at the things that we use everyday and miss the fact that they are a luxury. Pure clean water is indeed a luxury. There are millions of people all over the world for whom water is a constant concern. Apparently 1.2 billion of us don’t have access to safe drinking water. Water is even the cause of war in some parts of the world. I have none of those concerns I just go to the tap and there it is.

Jesus talked about a relationship with Him being like having ‘living water’, removing the need to ever be thirsty:

 ¹Jesus realized that the Pharisees were keeping count of the baptisms that he and John performed ²(although his disciples, not Jesus, did the actual baptising). They had posted the score that Jesus was ahead, turning him and John into rivals in the eyes of the people. ³So Jesus left the Judean countryside and went back to Galilee.

    ⁴To get there, he had to pass through Samaria. ⁵He came into Sychar, a Samaritan village that bordered the field Jacob had given his son Joseph. ⁶Jacob’s well was still there. Jesus, worn out by the trip, sat down at the well. It was noon.

    ⁷A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, “Would you give me a drink of water?” ⁸(His disciples had gone to the village to buy food for lunch.)

    ⁹The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, “How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (Jews in those days wouldn’t be caught dead talking to Samaritans.)

    ¹⁰Jesus answered, “If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water.”

    ¹¹The woman said, “Sir, you don’t even have a bucket to draw with, and this well is deep. So how are you going to get this “living water’? ¹²Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?”

    ¹³Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. ¹⁴Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst–not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.”

    ¹⁵The woman said, “Sir, give me this water so I won’t ever get thirsty, won’t ever have to come back to this well again!”

John 4

Water is a symbol of life itself, without water there is no life. I need water to live; I need ‘living water’ to really live. It’s a blessing and an honour to have both.