When I started this series I thought it would start running out of interest quite quickly, not because there wasn’t things to be grateful for but that each topic would get more and more cryptic. But then I had this idea about sharing and was surprised that I hadn’t already written something, amazing, 55 posts and not one about sharing.
Sharing is a sub-topic in many of my posts, but it’s never been the headline.
I often start with a dictionary definition of the thing I’m talking about, so as not to disappoint:
adj 1: sharing equally with another or others 2: unselfishly willing to share with others; “a warm and sharing friend” n 1: having in common; “the sharing of electrons creates molecules” 2: using or enjoying something jointly with others 3: sharing thoughts and feelings 4: a distribution in shares
There are so many parts of this that I love. I love the words “equally” and “unselfishly”.
As humans we are wired to interact with each other. Much of our art and most of our music is focussed on these interactions. But these interactions only truly work when they are true interactions when people share “thoughts and feelings” and they “enjoy something jointly with others”.
One of the most repeated jokes on the Internet goes something like this:
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”
Why does this work? The main reason is because we here about the old couple and immediately something inside warms to the way that they are so bonded together that they share everything.
One of my favourite books in the Bible has always been the book of Ecclesiastes , it’s probably the book I quote from the most. Ecclesiastes is the journal of a man who decides that he is going to take in life and experience it all. He is determined not to rule anything out-of-bounds. He is determined to live completely out of the box. He tries all the pleasures that life has to give; he build great riches; he works and strives; be gains great wisdom. Right in the middle of talking about toil and work he says this:
“I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone–no children, no family, no friends–yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, “Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?” More smoke. A bad business.
It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps, but if there’s no one to help, tough!
Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night.
By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”
How many people in our current culture does the first part describe “completely alone–no children, no family, no friends–yet working obsessively late into the night”. Did you know that divorced people are better paid than married people because they tend to work obsessively, but the writer from Ecclesiastes says that it’s a “way to nothingness”.
The contrast is stark – greed or sharing, getting or partnering.
Avoid nothingness practice sharing.
The other day someone pointed out to me how privileged I am when it comes to sharing. They did this by pointing out how many people I have who I could call upon to help me in a time of need; people who are willing to share what they have with me and my family.
On Saturday Sue was at a Ladies Conference all day. Ladies Conferences are one of those things that men are intrigued by, but would never dare to venture into. They are a bit like Toddler groups. Sue used to run one and I called in a couple of times, since then I have had a huge amount of respect for men who are house-husbands and go to these things every week. Imagine sitting there in that alien culture as an outsider, because I don’t think men can ever truly be members of the female culture.
Sorry, just went off on a sidetrack there, anyway Sue was away for the day so I phoned up my very good friend Dave and we decided to spend some time together and go and enjoy the Lakes for the day. We shared the day. It was great. Emily joined us, but Jonathan was off sharing the day with the a few of his friends. For a brief time we shared time, we shared the same air, we shared our opinions, we shared our feelings, we shared our lives.
How did I get to be in the privileged position? There are two answers to that. The first answer is common to everyone. Everyone who shares has people who will share with them; it’s the way it works. The second part of the answer is that I am a member of an extended family, I’m not talking here about my blood family, but about my church family. No member of Sue’s or my blood family live locally, but we still have our church family around us and we thank God for them.
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Graham Chastney 