They like adventures, and have been on a few, so together we thought that it was about time we told some of their stories.
Jimmy and Grandad live in a perfectly normal house which has recently, because of space limitations, been relocated into the garage at Teil Green. It’s a bit dull out there because there are no windows to see out of, other than the frosted glass one in the door. You can never get a proper idea of the outside world through frosted glass, especially when it’s been covered by the web that Mrs Spider has built in the vain attempt to catch the odd fly or two. Even small people want to see the outside world sometimes, so it was decided that Jimmy and Grandad would join the regular team at the Tuesday Night Quiz at the local Starbucks.
I don’t want you to get the wrong impression here, when we say "local" Starbucks we are not talking about some kind of local establishment which we walk to, this is a Starbuck franchise inside a huge Borders store next to a whole set of similarly huge franchised stores. But it’s the nearest one to us and the quiz is fun.
Starbucks does seem to specialise in large drinks and both Jimmy and Grandad were insistent that they could cope. Grandad’s coffee took an age to cool down to a temperature from which he could start to drink. Jimmy had a caramel frapuchino (or whatever it is they are called these days). Being over enthusiastic he started drinking before it had even started to warm up. Straight away was struck with that awful pain that you get across your nose when you have eaten or drunk something that is very very cold. We know it as ice cream headache.
This was going to be a long night of drinking for both of them.
When the time came for the quiz it was obvious who had been spending their time where. Grandad knew Oprah Winfrey and Clive James in the picture quiz – too much time in front of daytime TV. Jimmy loved the number puzzles – he loves mathematics at school. The other members of the team also helped out, but even with Jimmy and Grandad’s help Team Chastney was in it’s usual position of – third.
Third was OK this time though, although there was no prized Borders voucher to spend we did at least have the pleasure of beating the team of cheating young people (mostly from church) who were using the Starbucks wireless access to look up answers on the Internet. Perhaps they’ll realise that learning comes from experience, not from the Internet.
There was a lot of debate about the answer to the question: "What is the fastest growing plant?" Andy, the quiz master, was insistent that the answer was Bamboo, Graham was determined that it was Kelp. When they all got home Graham went upstairs to check the ultimate authority on such things "The Guinness Book of Records", to Graham disgust the answer in the 2006 edition was quite clear:
"Fastest Growing Plant: Certain species of Bamboo grow at up to 91 cm [35 in] a day a rate of 0.00003 km/h [0.00002 mph]."
It was certainly better than a night in the garage, but all things have to come to an end, and with no voucher to spend, again, everyone departed.